some posts are hard to write

I think I am still in processing/survival/post traumatic/shock mode after a F2 tornado whirled through our town and right down our very own driveway.

I am convinced that it is good to have children who are a tad OCD when it comes to the weather.  Because at 1:25am on Feb 29th, Graham came into our bedroom to tell us that his ipod showed a tornado over our town and at 1:28, that tornado was actually in our front yard and roaring over our roof.  It was the loudest sound I have ever heard and it was the scariest thing I have ever experienced.  Our neighbors to the side and front of us lost their homes.  We lost a lot of trees, but our home still stands.  We may have lost a sense of security, but the loves of our lives, those three boys who live in our home, are still alive.

In the aftermath, (aftermath, I never thought I would have to use that word), we were humbled by the goodness of the people in our city.  During those four days, it was not uncommon for a stranger with a chainsaw to stop by our house and cut down broken limbs.  It was not uncommon for the local college to bring boxes of food for us and the volunteers.  It was not uncommon for my phone to ring and a friend's voice to be on the other end asking if I was okay and could she bring me a sweet tea.  It was not uncommon for our school district to bring a school bus full of varsity track and baseball players, their coaches, principals and parents to haul limbs and trash out of our yard.  It was not uncommon for a sweet cousin to spend that first day with me, trying to take my mind off of what had just happened to us.  It was not uncommon of me to fall to the floor in tears only to be dried up by the sound of chainsaws outside...the sound of help, love and sacrifice.

It was not uncommon to go ahead and celebrate my fortieth birthday with the dearest of friends because life as I knew it had to resume.  As hard as it was, life had to continue.  And as I sit tonight, life has gone on.  But hopefully it's not all the same.  Hopefully I am more grateful.  More aware.  More loving.  More diligent.  More protective.  More joyful.  More me.

And I am confident of this, that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Psalm 27:13